I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
