He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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