he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
