ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
