I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
