he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Your cock deserves a montage
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
