Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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