How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
