and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
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i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
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At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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