Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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