i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
