Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
