Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
