do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
