Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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