the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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