He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
