We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Come see our sink grown plant.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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