You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
