I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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