i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
how drunk are you?
Several
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
