Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
