whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
