thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
