then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
