I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
