I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I had to cum in my sink.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize