everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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