well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
