Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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