this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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