she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
