And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize