I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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