if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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