I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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