Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
