the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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