Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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