I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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