I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
