If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize