I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
