He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Drunk is not a location!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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