Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
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Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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