Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
