he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
