Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
