I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
