she woke up with a sticky ear
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
