He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
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