it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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