I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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