Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
