we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
