No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
