I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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