Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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