You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
