we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
