So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
