real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
