you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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